SPOCK: Jim, it seems your affection for me has cooled, as of late.
KIRK: . . .
SPOCK: Is there someone else? (swallows) You can tell me. (beat) (shouts) I just can't take this silence! (turns to Kirk)
KIRK: (takes out an object, a sphere that fills his hand. He holds it up before him. To Spock's horrified eyes, he gently massages the puckered end of the grapefruit.) My love.
SPOCK: Have you finally gone mad? That's an inanimate object.
KIRK: So is the Enterprise. I haven't noticed you treating her with any less care.
SPOCK: The Enterprise has nothing to do with this.
KIRK: Doesn't it?
SPOCK: (pursing his lips) It would be illogical to have feelings for the Enterprise.
KIRK: Or any part of the Enterprise?
KIRK: I rest my case. In the meantime, I think you underestimate my dear . . . Ruby. Juicy, succulent, sweet, but not too sweet. Ruby has depth. Depths you could never imagine.
SPOCK: (turns his back) Very well . . . I think this goes beyond a mere personal matter. (faces Kirk again) I have already spoken with Doctor McCoy. We have agreed that you should be sent to Starbase 42 for observation.
KIRK: No! No, you can't do that! (clutches the grapefruit to his breast)
SPOCK: We must.
KIRK: Don't you have any heart? Any humanity?
SPOCK: My feelings are immaterial! Let me ask you, Captain, when did you take leave of your senses? Is it stress? Have you tired of me? Just where were you on Stardate 4583.7 and who was that purple-haired character you were seen with later?
KIRK: Alright, alright, I confess, it was a fruit dealer from Aldebaran 7! Now, won't you let it go, Spock? I thought you might have some questions but I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition!
THE CARDINAL AND HIS ENTOURAGE: Nuuuuuubody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
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